Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Skinny B*tchin'


I decided to split the last post into 2 different posts:
From some odd reason, I've promised my roommates that I'll go to the gym with them multiple times a week. A combination of good genes and great jeans has helped me remain an effortless size 2 since I was 15 years old. I'd managed to avoid physically strenuous activities, a.k.a exercise, until one of our houseguest put the fear of fat death  into us all. This guest counted calories like Bernie Maddof counted offshore accounts. Intrigued, I would sit across from her, eating anything from shish tawooks to Doritos, watching her carefully pick through her daily meals of salad and non-fat yogurt. I found her obsession with her weight fascinating. She found my lack of effort to maintain my figure maddening. Finally, one day while I'm munching on a chocolate bar and my roommates are getting dressed to go out, she loudly proclaims, "You know, we can't all look like you, Frenchie. Some of us have to work for it! My dad died of a heart attack when I was younger so I'm happy to watch my weight and excercise so I can live longer."  Everyone turns to look at me and await my response. There I am, mouthful of chocolate, arm poised to reach for my gummi bears, with everyone staring at me as if I'm that greedy purple kid from Willy Wonka!

What was I supposed to say to that heartfelt plea for pity and slimness?! I definitely was not about to give up my gummi bears to make her feel better... I looked over to my roommate for salvation and she graciously came to my rescue, "We're going to start going to the gym everyday"...Wait- what? What kind of save is that?! Doesn't she know that you don't negotiate with terrorists! Who is this we she speaks of?! Can't we just agree to cook without oil or something that doesn't involve leaving the house when its's 125 degrees outside? Unwilling to refute her statement in front of our house-guest and invite more sob stories and salads though, I've been stuck going to the gym for the past 3 weeks. I've grumbled enough that my roommates don't drag me everyday.

 I just wanted you guys to feel my pain.

Update: Sigh, somehow Blogger deleted my entire 6/28 post. I apologize to those who were not able to read it beforehand


Matt said...

Suck it up bean pole! I have been dragging my ass the gym for the last six months (granted, my physique is not anywhere near yours) but you can suck it up. At least pretend like you have to work for it. ;-)

All I am saying is you get no sympathy from me on this front kiddo.

Frenchie said...

why are u sooo mean to me Matt! I've endured this gym plight with the greatest remorse, the least you could do is be sympathetic lol

Anonymous said...

no sexy men in the gym... me and Kristin stayed at the Leach freshman year on the hunt for boyfriends...never sweated once!

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